Thursday, March 30th, 2023

How to deal with sperm donor and the child…

Billy Glover…and how to write a good book about Molly Ivins.

February 15, 2011.

I only accidentally read the very good article in the last Windy City Times, by Mary Bowers, because the heading was not interesting to me at first (“And Baby Makes More”). But I don’t think I’ve read any better discussion on how to deal with the sperm donor who—despite signing away rights to the child—later becomes involved in the child’s life, often at the urging of the child.

It seems to me that it is another example, as the writer says very well, that the “real world” is not the same as the theories. No matter what the man or woman thinks, it often doesn’t work out that way, and the only real issue is what is best for the child. The article is done with a great sense of humor, which helps us get through life.

It is an issue not dealt with in most discussions of marriage, but ironically is in the issue of adoption. In this case the donor is known, but it could become an issue even if the donor is not known, at least in theory.

In the case here, the worry is that the man will want visitation rights. The writer says that if the women worry about the man getting time with the child—and the women don’t want that— then send the man to her as she has kids she would love to let someone handle for a weekend.

That is reality. And even more is the fact that many kids later seek to know the donor/father.

So I hope a better heading will let readers know the subject of future articles.

And another issue I think of as being in the “real world” is two fold. It does seem to me that most people no longer actually read books, and that there is a need for a modern-day Readers Digest.

Molly Ivins: A Rebel Life
Molly Ivins: A Rebel Life

Too many books seem to be “over-written.” And that seems to be what Tracy Baim is saying in her review of the new book on Molly Ivins (Molly Ivins: A Rebel Life, by Bill Minutaglio and W. Michael Smith, published by Public Affairs).

Solid research put into print can often be a bad thing if it drags the book down, making it slow reading. Too much information is worse than too little. And good editors should eliminate any duplication.

As good an “entertainer” as Molly was, in writing and speeches, it is lousy that the authors don’t get this across.

Maybe this book will at least get people who want to know of her life to read her books. Your readers deserve an honest review of books—it is not fair to promote a book just because it is about some good person or cause, if the book is of no real value.

For those who do buy books, many don’t have that much money to spend, so need to know what books actually are worth reading.


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1 Comment

  1. Emma Hartnell-Baker

    This article is at the centre of a ‘disagreement’ between myself and Elizabeth Marquardt as I had posted part of Elizabeths article ( thinking she had made the quote, to further her agenda. I have amended it – please see

    I agree that anonymous donations should be abolished- other than that we dramatically disagree.

    I facilitate arrangements whereby free donations are offered- but with the child being able to know of his or her origins- and where relationships are actually encouraged from birth. That a child being able to do this doesnt have to be ‘threatening’ to the real parents. Being a ‘real’ parent has nothing to do with biology- it is earned through love, consistency, support etc. However the child deserves to know of the biologial parent. This ‘sperm’ is actually the DNA or a real person- and we should value this far more.

    Children Deserve to Know Where They Come From

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